Saturday 1 March 2008
The Dogs And The Bones
It's the most terrifying, awful place I've ever seen, and it's the size of the National Exhibition Centre, for Christ's sake. It's madness. Any sane person working there would pray daily for a massacre. As the gunmen burst in, firing indiscriminately, the first genuine smile in six months would spread wide across your face, and you'd leap, giggling, into the line of fire.And what relevance the picture? None at all. No relevance at all.
And just when you think things can't get any more tearjerking, we're introduced to Mandisa, a black single mum in South Africa, who hopes her new call centre job should make ends meet. Thing is, it's for a UK firm, so first she has to attend an "Accent Reduction" course, which knocks all the fun out of her voice, so she won't frighten the horses.
J.K.
Iron Man
I'm excited about this movie. What's not to like? Robert Downey Jr, Black Sabbath, guns, explosions, fighter jets and terrorists. Hell, chuck in a couple of lesbians and this could well be the greatest work of art ever produced by a human!
Friday 29 February 2008
Thursday 28 February 2008
Na Touch The Just Just
I often used to lie awake at night and think. This Just-Ice fella is a maniac. Still altogether a great great track.
On to pastures new?
Over the years I have been fortunate enough to encounter superb musical artists with sometimes even more superb names, names like Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Jiz Mac the Guzza, Mary Black, Stab vs Hate, Felix the Fieldmouse(AYIA), Sturgeon etc. etc. but some occasionally have a tendency to stand out with just that little bit more heeyaaah.
One that springs to mind is SatanChrist, whose 2005 album -This is a Game, its not a Game, contained such memorable lyrics as "roll the dice(pause) aces high(pause) its a royal flush!" which always filled me with joyousness and failed hope.
Black Sex on the other hand, had the classic album - coMEt of lOVe, whose opening track "Orbiting the Universe of Sexuality" still to this day holds dynamism and a relevance that only Barbara Streisand's duet wit Mr. Neil Diamond "You don't bring me flowers" holds.
God bless Apollo.
Wednesday 27 February 2008
Magnetism!
Tuesday 26 February 2008
Duck My Sick Kevin McCarra
Arsenal can beat anyone, including themselves
What a load of rubbish. What an arse-hole! This comment (from nebalt) sums it up perfectly for me;
Kevin, this article proves yet again why you are more Duncan Castles and less Henry Winter. In today's GU football podcast, you argued with Doyler that Taylor's challenge was down around Eduardo's ankle when your own paper has published a picture of the incident in this article:
http://football.guardian.co.uk/News_Story/0,,2259993,00.html
You dare call Wenger a hothead but never criticize Alex Ferguson when he goes off on his rants and says the most stupid things because you are a world class sycophant.
This year you have accused Arsenal of fictitiously simulating in a game at the Emirates when three weeks later Evra and Anderson were rolling around the Emirates as if they were shot. Not a peep out of you then. You also accused them of being short then retracting it again on the podcast admitting you had been wrong. And in the aftermath of this latest sad episode, you rather talk about Gallas' and Wenger's shortcomings than berate another Scotsman for giving the mandate to go out and cause bodily harm on an opponent. Your bipolar approach to Arsenal is quite frankly getting old. You are, unfortunately, not a credit for the paper you work for.
Anyway, the guardian has proven itself of late to be little more than a tabloid. With the exception of Charlie Brooker, the only use I put that paper to these days is wrapping my chips. I will say good day to you Mr. McCarra!
I SAID GOOD DAY!
J.K.
A '63 Margaux, best of the century.
Ok it was not a '63 Margaux. It was a bottle of Chianti Classico. And i wasnt in a high class restaurant. I was in the screen cinema. Back row. Last night. And it wasn't out of the bottle. I brought my own glass. And it was very enjoyable. A few funny looks but it was more like my front room than anything else. And I even had the 'bottle' (if you will excuse the pun), to tell two ladies to shut up and take their chatter outside.
I am going to drink in the cinema from now on.
Hardcore
As I've already shared the very intimate details of my favourite internet video, I decided that I'd go the whole hog, open myself up from the very bottom of my bottom and share with you, the world, my very favourite Penny Arcade comic
Monday 25 February 2008
Virginity
My first post!!
Where to begin? I'd like to thank JK for inviting me, my parents for conceiving me (however accidentally) and, of course, the simply awesome baby Jesus for guiding me.
I suppose I should tell all y'all something about me: I am a (mostly) male, (oftentimes) bewildered (occasional) developer. That is all.
My literary juices are currently fermenting, therefore I shall sign off by adding my new favourite internet video. I am, however, a fickle fellow, so the internet had better stay on its toes otherwise I'll find a new favourite.
Here it is
Where to begin? I'd like to thank JK for inviting me, my parents for conceiving me (however accidentally) and, of course, the simply awesome baby Jesus for guiding me.
I suppose I should tell all y'all something about me: I am a (mostly) male, (oftentimes) bewildered (occasional) developer. That is all.
My literary juices are currently fermenting, therefore I shall sign off by adding my new favourite internet video. I am, however, a fickle fellow, so the internet had better stay on its toes otherwise I'll find a new favourite.
Here it is
I Was Trying To Backflip A Motorcycle
Knoxville recovering from surgery
J.K.
TV stuntman Johnny Knoxville is recovering from surgery after having his genitals stitched up.Knoxville, you are a prince among men.
The 'Jackass' star was attempting to replicate late daredevil Evel Knievel's famous motorcycle backflip in Oklahoma at the weekend when he landed awkwardly.
Knoxville was taken to a nearby hospital, but the cuts, swelling and bruising were so severe medics couldn't operate on him immediately.
In a phone interview with blogger Marc Malkin just 10 minutes after surgery on Thursday, Knoxville said: "I'm still a little groggy from the anaesthesia. I just got the catheter out, and the doctor said I can resume normal functions immediately like, manly functions."
But Knoxville fears he'll have nightmares about the painful accident for years to come.
He adds: "I was trying to backflip a motorcycle. The bike goes up about 15, 20 feet in the air and comes back down and breaks its handlebar off in between my legs. I was laying there spreadeagle.
"They've never seen handlebars break off before-much less between someone's legs."
Knoxville tore his urethra in the accident, which will be broadcast on MTV in America this weekend, when the prankster and his crew of stunt pals take over the network for 24 hours to launch their new JackassWorld.com website.
J.K.
Some People Feel This Angry All The Time
Once a man strolled in, pointed to something behind the counter, and gruffly asked if he could have it for five pounds off. He was wearing tracksuit bottoms, and had one hand absent-mindedly stuffed down the front, playing with his balls, as he studied my face for a response. I politely explained that the price was the price, haggling wasn't an option, and so on. He asked if I wanted to step outside. When I said I didn't, he swore at me, kicked the counter, and stormed out. The entire exchange lasted less than 30 seconds.
J.K.
Sunday 24 February 2008
oooo baby
Good God I hope that they dont mess Watchmen up like most of the Comic ports so far.. still this screenshot looks pretty damn sweet.. praying.. especially since I've got news that Akira has been given the green light, with a (I'm pretty sure) 30 odd year old Yank playing a 15 year old Japanese Kid...Yes indeed Di Caprio has been rumoured to play my favorite hero and I swear to god if this happens i will pull a stewie griffin on him (Will Ferrell)
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